A reflection from CEO Robert Sams, this World Suicide Prevention Day
As we pause to reflect on this World Suicide Prevention Day, I’ve paused and reflected also on the learnings that I have taken from training as a Lifeline Crisis Supporter which I had the privilege of doing in early 2021. In doing so, I joined the more than 3500+ people across the country who are there for others 24/7 every day of the year.
The training is thorough and challenging at times too, of course, it is also filled with support, validation and empathy, as we learn (and in many cases also “unlearn”) what it takes to sit with somebody who may be experiencing a crisis.
Critically, we also learn a lot about “self-care”.
Sitting with people as they work through pain or whatever crisis they are experiencing at the time, can be equally challenging and fulfilling. It is the connection with others that people are often seeking and to be there with someone as they deal with this can provide a real sense of what it means to “be” human.
So, what is required to be a Crisis Supporter?
Three of the key attributes that we look for at Lifeline in a Crisis Supporter are;
- Compassion,
- Self-awareness and;
- Respect.
Compassion literally means “suffer together” and comes from Latin with “pati”, which means to suffer, and the prefix “com” means with, or together. Demonstrating compassion at Lifeline means accepting, validating and attending to how others are feeling. The opposite of this is to dismiss feelings and suggested to someone; “don’t worry mate, everything will be right”.
Self-awareness is required so that we can be aware of who we are in the conversation and how this may impact on our “being” with others. We ask questions like what things may trigger us or lead us not to be present to the needs of those who seek our help?
Respect means taking a non-judgemental approach with each person who reaches out for help, respecting that everyone is unique, and they have autonomy to make their own decisions and are knowledgeable in their own life.
Of course along with these three attributes, Empathy is also important in our work at Lifeline. As Brene Brown explains it;
“is connecting with people so we know we're not alone when we're in struggle. Empathy is a way to connect to the emotion another person is experiencing; it doesn't require that we have experienced the same situation they are going through”.
This is a really important point, that whether we have experienced similar feelings or not, the role of the Crisis Supporter is to connect with how the other person is feeling, the interaction is about them.
To wrap up this piece, I thought it would be useful to refer to the book, How to Listen by Katie Colombus which is published by our friends (and similar organisation to Lifeline) in the UK, The Samaritans.
How to Listen begins with a Preface by Samaritans supporter Michael Palin who suggests that:
“Listening well requires the patience to stay with someone who may not be able to articulate exactly what they are feeling, and to be able to assure whoever you’re listening to that they are the most important person in your life at that moment.
A good listener knows that silence can sometimes say far more than words. A good listener is never judgemental. Be prepared for difficult, sometimes angry and ungrateful responses, but try to understand the context from which they come.
Most of all, listening requires you to forget your own ego, to set aside your own preoccupations and anxieties, and to give your full concentration to whoever’s speaking to you. The rewards are that a good listener can change someone’s life – even save someone’s life.”
I encourage anyone who is interested in becoming a crisis supporter to reach out to the team at Lifeline and explore the opportunity. It is truly a gift to experience a moment where you feel like your time has made a life changing difference.
This World Suicide Prevention Day Lifeline is running a donation appeal to raise funds to support the ongoing expense of service delivery.
If you are able to, your contribution will give someone in crisis a lifeline when they need it most. From crisis support to counselling to self-led support; Lifeline’s many services help to ensure that the diverse needs of all Australians are met and that everyone has support available to them, when they need it, in a way that best suits them.
Suicide prevention takes the power of many. Every donation helps save lives. Every call brings hope.